Those that know me, in real-life, have most likely walked up to my mom van, and been told to walk away, or close their eyes. While my house isn’t spotless, it’s pretty clean. I cannot say the same for my van- it’s downright embarrassing. When we bought it a couple of years ago, I swore we would keep it clean. It may not have been a brand-new car, but at just 3 years old, it was the newest car we had ever purchased, and I was very happy to have it. Obviously, I was kidding myself. Between the rush of day-to-day life, and traveling for sports, the things that can be found in my van on any given day are ridiculous.
60+ random things in my mom
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- shriveled, dried up baby carrots
- random, matchless shoes that no longer fit anyone in our family
- puzzle pieces
- sippy cups filled with mold
- garbage, so much garbage
- dog hair
- remnants of art projects that never made it in the house
- dried-out, open markers
- marker lids
- permission slips, physical forms, doctor’s excuses– important papers that I spent hours searching for in the house and book bags.
- legos— how are they EVERYWHERE??!
- naked cabbage patch kids
- soccer balls
- shin guards
- more socks
- no less than 12 boxes worth of empty juice pouches without the straws
- the straws to said juice pouches
- hockey sticks
- hockey tape
- hockey pucks
- water bottles— gross, that’s as far as I’m going to go
- nintendo ds games
- puzzle pieces– Who does a puzzle in the car?
- bouquets of dried up “flowers”
- matchbox cars– my kids don’t even really play with matchbox cars. I have no idea how so many make their way into our van.
- $394 in pennies (ok, so maybe not that much, but a lot)
- fossilized french fries
- single, loose batteries
- completely unidentifiable objects
- keys that I have never seen and serve no purpose, yet are attached to key chains
- more garbage
- crumbs for days
- dirty silverware (this may be the reason we only ever have 5 forks in the house)
- apple cores (My children are apparently animals)
- stuffed animals
- ninja turtles
- McDonald’s toys
- Burger King toys
- Burger King crowns (I swear we don’t even eat that much fast food)
- more garbage
- more crayons
- more socks (my children clearly loathe socks)
- bank lollipop wrappers
- bank lollipop sticks with more garbage stuck to the ends of them
- empty gatorade bottles
- hundreds of dollars in play money (if only it were real)
- mini hockey sticks
- board game pieces
- goldfish crackers
- book bags, drawstring bags, lunch boxes filled with completely unrelated objects that I haven’t been able to find for months, that do not belong to my children.
- an entire cantaloupe
- every flashlight we have ever owned
- MY earbuds (NO, I was not the one who put them there)
- more crumbs
- more garbage
- more pennies
- more juice pouch straws (these all deserve several mentions)
I love my children dearly, but they’re gross. What are the odds they will grow out of this stage??!! If you’ve got any tips for my van, leave them in the comments. I can’t imagine I’m the only one with a messy van- although, I’m pretty sure we can all agree, mine is the grossest.xoxo,
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